A Letter to a Friend

Hello, my best friend. I hope wherever you are, you are happy and healthy. Although I am far away from you, I love you more than ever, and this distance has not diminished my feelings for you.

I miss you so much, my dear friend. I miss the days when we would spend hours sharing our feelings, talking and laughing together. We would share all of life’s problems with each other and solve them together. These days are so difficult for me; you are far away from me, and I am left without you. I cannot handle the heavy burden of life’s problems on my own.

I will never forget the good and bad days we spent together. I remember those days when we used to go to school and come back together. We would visit each other’s homes, and if we did not see each other even for one day, we would feel terribly sad, as if we had lost something. But what can we do? We have to dance to the tune that life plays. Now I have to learn to live with all this longing, and if I can see you after five or six months, I will consider myself very lucky.

You understand me, my friend!

Without you, I feel very lonely. You were the best thing that ever happened in my life. I wish you were here, so that whenever I became hopeless, you could tell me, “Shakila, get up. These days will not last.” You and I promised each other that we would reach our dreams. When I cried, you would hold me in your arms; when I laughed, you would laugh with me. And sometimes, when we argued, it was because I missed you so much. I would always find an excuse to talk to you again.

You were the only friend who was truly a friend to me. People say, “A true friend is someone who stays beside us in every situation, in good and bad times, in sorrow and happiness.” You were exactly that kind of friend.

I don’t know what was so special about you that I became this attached to you. I love you like my sister. When I am with you, I feel completely comfortable. When I am with you, I feel as though there is no sadness and no world beyond us. You are the first person I truly feel deserves to be called a friend. Through you, I learned the true meaning of friendship.

These days, whenever I face a problem or struggle with the difficulties of life, I comfort myself with the words you told me seven or eight years ago.

Thank you for being there. You are the best thing that ever happened in my life. Please stay in my life.

Ever since the school doors were closed and our dreams were destroyed, we have grown so far apart. My friend, back when we went to school, we had a reason to see each other. After that, we could no longer see each other so easily. With everything happening in our country, our families became more fearful that something might happen to us. They were forced to keep us at home. On one hand, we understood our families, but on the other hand, our hearts were breaking more and more. We had to stay at home so that, God forbid, we would not become a source of shame for our families. We could rarely see each other. Friends who used to see each other at least once a day could no longer even see each other once a month.

When a year had passed since the Taliban came to power, we moved to another province, and we did not see each other for two years. I missed you terribly. My pillow was the only witness to the silent tears I cried for you. My dear, I would see other girls talking with their friends and going here and there together, and it would remind me of our school days. My heart would break into pieces.

Do you remember? After two years, I returned to Kabul for a few days. With a little hope, I went to your old house. When I saw the door of your house from a distance, my heart started beating so fast. I truly thought I was dreaming. After two years...

I got close to your house and knocked on the door. A stranger opened it. When I saw him, I thought you had left and no longer lived there. But when I asked him if he was your neighbor, he said, “Yes.” I stepped forward and saw that it was actually you; you were washing your hands. When you saw me, you froze and stood there, with drops of water falling from your hands. You ran toward me and said, “You finally came?” Oh my God, I couldn’t believe it. We hugged each other—the hug of two people who had been apart for two years.

I wish the day would come when we could go to school together again, laugh like we used to, and tell each other about the sorrows of life so that our hearts could feel a little lighter. I wish everything could be like it used to be. Because I have so much to tell you. I have kept years’ worth of stories in my heart, waiting for the day when everything becomes peaceful again, and you and I can laugh and cry together once more.

If I ever hurt you because of something I said, I hope you will forgive me.

My friend, I wrote this letter to you from the bottom of my heart. Since I cannot see you in person and cannot tell you how much I have missed you, I wanted to let some of my pain out of my heart through writing.